submarine_bells: jellyfish from "Aquaria" game (Default)
[personal profile] submarine_bells
After her night spent schmoozing at the local diner, Melanoma returns home and notices that Tangerine is up and awake (finally!). She immediately collapses, exhausted, onto the couch.
Screenshot-107

Meanwhile Tangerine, still hungry, orders some pizza. He heads out the front door in the hope of intercepting the pizza before anyone else (Melanoma, say) can get to it. There he encounters Oliver the Paper Boy dropping off another newspaper to add to the growing mound of papers composting on the front porch. Sensing a potential audience, Tango begins a tirade on the virtues of whiteness. Oliver is not delighted by this.
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Oliver is still quite young, but he's old enough to recognise bullshit when he hears it. He responds with a counter-argument as the pizza delivery person arrives with Tangerine's breakfast.
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"Hey matey, do you want this pizza, or would you rather just stand there arguing with the paper boy?"
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All of a sudden, the pizza is forgotten as Tangerine, Oliver and the pizza chick are overcome by an irresistable urge to perform The Dance Of Horrified Greeting for... a repair person?
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Startled awake, Melanoma concedes that yes, maybe the TV could do with a tune-up or something...
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Wait, what? That's not a TV repair tool!
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WOOOP WOOOP WOOOP!
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WOOOP SCHLOOOP SCHLUUURRRP! There goes the TV...
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Tangerine bawls his eyes out, weeping for his lost TV, his lost innocence, his missing personality. Without a TV, how will he pass the time now?
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He recalls his breakfast, still sitting out on the front porch.
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Melanoma's response to the TV being reposessed is withering. "You idiot! You haven't got the brains God gave a pickled onion. I TOLD you to pay those bills. This is YOUR fault."
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"Ah well. We'll always have Paris pizza!"
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submarine_bells: (hahaha)
[personal profile] submarine_bells
The story so far: Tangerine and Melanoma Hitler are doing their best to survive in a house with no lavatory, beds or fridge... which is a challenge, since they themselves have no charm, intelligence or life-skills.


While Tangerine (who has, you may recall, claimed the only couch in the house) sleeps, Melanoma is overcome by hunger pangs and visits the local diner.
Screenshot-7

But wait! What light through yonder window breaks? Is it Juliet? No, it's a Zombie-American rising up through the footpath while Melanoma dines inside.
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She finishes her meal and emerges from the diner, only to be accosted by the zombie. She is not in the mood for this shit.
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"Arrrghh, mmbblgggghhhrrrr! Hey lady, those are awfully tasty looking thighs you have there!"
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Melanoma snorts disdainfully, spins on her heels and heads straight back into the diner for another cuppa. Clearly it's gonna be one of those days...
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It seems that the Zombie-American is still waiting for her when she's done with her second coffee. Impressed by her unbelievable body odor, the zombie tries to make friends with her. This is not easy when one's first language is groaning.
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Zombie: "Okay, arrgghh, mumbbllerrggh, seeya round!"
Melanoma: "I hate my life."
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Mel decides that this unpleasant encounter might as well be useful for something, so she grabs a pic of the Zombie-American as she departs, with the idea that she may post it on the blog that she's just starting up.
Screenshot-105a

Unfortunately, Melanoma's photography skills are at approximately the same level as the zombie's hygiene skills. Her blog's certainly not gonna go viral this week.

The Sims 3 as Therapy

Sep. 20th, 2017 04:56 pm
submarine_bells: (hahaha)
[personal profile] submarine_bells
It's been a rather frustrating week or two, what with one thing and another. So I decided to vent some of my frustrations via The Sims. Using a fairly high profile couple as inspiration, I attempted to create more-or-less lookalike sims, and then picked traits that I deemed appropriate to them. His traits were fairly straightforward to come up with; but for her I had to guess a bit more, since the person she's based on maintains a fairly enigmatic public facade. And so I give you:

The Travails of Tangerine Hitler and Melanoma Hitler

Tangerine & Melanoma Hitler

Since this supposed to be a cathartic exercise, it wouldn't do to have things go too smoothly for Mr & Mrs Hitler. I've set them up in a basic starter home, but removed a few, um, optional extras. For example, their house has no lavatory. It also lacks a fridge and has no beds. But they have a couch and a TV, so surely they'll cope, right? Lets find out!

My self-imposed rules are this: the sims themselves set the pace. Most of what they do is entirely generated by them. If they have wishes, then I'll attempt to fulfill them (or at least, the wishes that appeal to my sense of whimsy). If they seem to develop an interest, I may nudge them further in that direction; and I'll occasionally push them into going outside and saying hello to other sims in the neighbourhood. The rest is up to them. Lets see what happens.

As soon as they arrive in their new abode, Tangerine makes a beeline for the bathroom mirror for a nice inspiring round of pose-a-rama, while Melanoma chats up the local Furry then checks out the offerings on TV:
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This seems to be a bit of a theme for Tangerine. Whenever he's bored or unhappy, he immediately decamps to the bathroom to admire himself in the mirror. When he's within eyeshot of it there is no dragging him away from its magnetic allure. Who needs cocaine when you can admire your own reflection for hours on end?

Eventually the thrill wears off a little and he rejoins Melanoma on the couch. She's starting to feel a bit tired and cranky by this time. "Whyever did it seem a good idea to buy a house without beds?" she wails. "All we have is this crummy old couch!" Tangerine rudely ignores her.
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Before long Tangerine is feeling a bit sleepy as well. Being a caring, sharing sort he tells Melanoma "This is MY couch! Off you go. I wanna get some sleep now."
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This is not received well:
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"You're a charmless, mannerless peasant!"
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"...And your genitalia are charmless, too!"
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Overcome with fatigue and humiliation, Tangerine proceeds to wet himself...
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...And then fall asleep in the puddle on the floor.
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Does Melanoma succumb to temptation and give him a good swift kick? Does their relationship survive this contre-temps? Tune in for the next thrilling episode and find out!
submarine_bells: jellyfish from "Aquaria" game (Default)
[personal profile] submarine_bells
Remember my grumble last Friday about having a kidney infection? Well, they sent a sample of my pee off to the lab last week to culture it and find out what my kidney's been colonised by, and it came back showing Klebsiella. Yuk. So I've been on antibiotics since then, and while I'm no longer peeing in distubing shades of apricot and orange, I'm still in as much pain as I was when all this started. Since it hasn't shown much sign of clearing up, I had an ultrasound done of my infected kidney yesterday arvo, which showed nothing particular of note. When I discussed the ultrasound results with my GP this morning he was a bit surprised that I'm still in such strong pain after nearly completing a course of antibiotics, and thinks it's possible (though by no means certain) that there might be something else going on, such as a kidneystone that isn't showing up on the ultrasound. So the current plan is this: when I finish the current course of antibiotics (today) we'll switch up to something stronger, and if there's no clear improvement in my pain levels by the end of the week I'll have a CAT scan to see what is going on (which should hopefully show up anything that the ultrasound missed).

Gah. Not happy Jan. The last time I had a kidney infection (with bonus kidneystones) it wound up with me ambulanced off to hospital, and as a result of the infection my left kidney has so much scarring damage that it looks like the top chunk of it has been gnawed off by a beaver. This new kidney infection is in my right kidney. I will be quite peeved if I wind up with TWO damaged kidneys at the end of all this.

Here we go again...

Sep. 15th, 2017 02:17 pm
submarine_bells: (backlit)
[personal profile] submarine_bells
No flying for me this weekend. I haz a kidney infection. :-(

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Ian Borchardt

October 2012

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